March or July?

Ohio has been having some crazy weather lately! The past few weeks have been in the 70's or 80's every day! It is wonderfully weird! Zach and I have gone for walks at the park or to play on the swings and slide everyday for 2 weeks! I am exhausted, he is not ;) Yesterday I purchased an infant carrier for the back, now my neck and arms hurt! Oh well he enjoys it!

We have also been hitting up the local ice cream parlor! I don't know what my husband was thinking buying a house two blocks from the best ice cream around! We are going to go broke :)


On March 19th Zach turned 10 months old! CRAZY! (I am in party planning mode!)
*He almost has 4 teeth (two bottom and his top lateral incisors (canines) and I think he has a few more coming in) I am kind of worried that he is not going to get his top middle teeth, I really hope they come through soon so I can stop worrying!
*He cruises EVERYWHERE! The doctor thinks he will be walking very soon, lord help us!
*He has been saying Mamamamamamama all of the time, no idea if he actually means me or if he is just having fun!
*His language development is pretty fantastic, he almost says uh-oh, so far he's really got the oh down and just this morning he said boo! He also really likes making the f noise, I'm hoping that he isn't gearing up to say a foul word that has frequently crossed my lips (whoops!) I swear I'm a nice girl!
*He looks more and more like a little boy everyday, it is breaking my heart, why can't they just stay babies?
*We are taking swimming lessons, he HATES them! As soon as we get in the pool he starts whining and does not stop until we are out! All of the other parents look at us with pity! I plan to keep taking him until the whining subsides, mean mom!
* He weighs about 20lbs now and is about 29 inches long!

I am having so much fun planning his first birthday party! We are going to have it at the park near our house, so hopefully this gorgeous weather sticks around until then! I'm going with a woodland outdoorsy theme! I'm making my own invitation using GIMP (it is basically a free photoshop) it is awesome and I'm having so much fun! My computer savvy husband thinks that if I wanted to I could do web design! I told him I would think about it! I will post a picture of the invite when I'm done with it!
Who did you invite to your children's first birthday party? I feel like I have to invite a lot of miscellaneous family members (that sounds bad, but some of these people have never met Zach, they are like 2nd cousins of my mom and we are close to some but not all, I feel like if I invite the ones we are close to I should invite all so as not to cause friction) so I'm curious to know how some of you decided on whom to invite!

I have been reading blogs but I rarely write! I have been running my butt off trying to make friends and get my confidence levels up. I'm doing okay on that journey but I still have a lot of work to do! I'm thinking about seeing a therapist to help me over the hump and to deal with some residual hurt over the fact that my dad and I haven't spoken and probably won't. It is hard to think that your parent doesn't care about you. Ugh! I hope that I never slip up with Zach, it is a big fear of mine! I just always want him to know I love him! I will probably go the extreme opposite and smother him with love! Poor thing :)

Hopefully I will be back sooner so I don't write another book!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I hope everyone has a delightful and LOVE filled holiday! We celebrated early! We went out to dinner at our favorite little Thai place and then we got some coffee and hot chocolate! I got a Kindle Fire! Woohoo! Love my husband! I got him a card and a baby free evening ;)
My Kindle Fire is so fun! I have read a ton of books already also my old Kindle will make a nice camping kindle! We are planning our first camping trip for sometime after Zach's first birthday!
Zach is 9 Months old on the 19th! He has had  a bit of a development explosion!
*He has 2 teeth!
*He bites! OUCH!
*He crawls! Fast!
*He pulls himself up on everything!
*He cruises all around the sectional!
*He basically only wants to feed himself and is off the puree!
*He refuses to sleep through the night unless he is in our bed (BAH, not even sure how we started it, but I wish we hadn't!)
I can't believe how fast the time has gone! I can't wait to have another baby (Am I crazy?)! All of my friends are getting pregnant again and it is making me consider number 2! My husband has already got us having 4 so I figure I might as well get number 2 out of the way fast!

8 Months

Zach is 8 months, yikes! Where has the time gone?
He is still working on crawling, he gets closer everyday! I think by February he will be full on crawling! EEK!
He tries to pull up on everything but doesn't have the coordination just yet!
He is getting his first tooth (lower left incisor)!

I am planning his first birthday bash! We are having it at the park a few blocks from our house! I think we are going with a bug/picnic theme! I'm going to attempt to do everything myself (food, invitations etc...)!

Confidence

First, Zach is 7 months, 8 months on Thursday!
He is almost crawling!
Tries to pull up!
Eats Yogurt and finger foods as well as purees!
Is still Breastfed, and cloth diapered which makes me feel good!!

So on to the title of this post, Confidence. I lack it. Seriously lack it.
I always feel like people are putting me down even when they aren't.
It is hurting my relationships and it hurts me.
I need to work on this.
I found this link http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident and I'm going to try to do the steps. I might use this space for some of it and to track my progress. So beware :)

6 months

On November 19th Zach turned 6 months old! It is crazy to think he has only been in my life for half of a year! It seems like he has been here forever!
His stats are 15lbs 11oz (he was all over the scale though and I think he is actually a little over 16lbs) (25%ile), 27 inches long (75%ile)! He is going to be tall and skinny just like his parents! Poor kid!
At six months he can:
*Roll front to back and back to front!
*Scootch himself to an object using his mouth, hands and feet! It is quite amusing to watch!
* Sit up on his own!
*Move around in his exersaucer. It is pretty cute!
*Jump like a crazy man in his jumperoo!
*Is still breastfeeding!!
*loves solid foods! Will only eat Carrots and Green beans if mixed with Cereal!
*talks a mile a minute!
*say MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA (my favorite!)
Pictures to come! I have to take them off of my camera!

Thanksgiving

This year I had so much to be thankful for and was ready to celebrate with my family. We started the day out with my dad's family. It was awful. My dad and his girlfriend took it upon themselves to feed my 6 month old baby cornbread. Needless to say I went all crazy mama bear on them. Then my family told me I needed to apologize. Um no I did not. My dad gave my child an allergen that he is not to have until 1 year of age, behind my back. They disrespected me not vice versa. Then my dad cornered me in the kitchen, got in my face, said "It's fucking food, fuck you, and that I owed him an apology." Ummm again No you crazy people! So we left there me a shaking, crying mess wondering if I would be spending Thanksgiving in the hospital praying for my child. Luckily he was not allergic. I still have not received an apology from my dad or his girlfriend. In fact his girlfriend sent me two very rude messages about the situation and her daughter threatened me on facebook. CLASSY! Needless to say I have cut them all out of my life. I do not need my dad's crap anymore. He has never been nice to me and in the past I've been nearly arrested for Grand Theft Auto because he gave me a car and decided he wanted it back now while I was hours away with no way to get it to him. So this may seem bad but it is good to have all of the negativity and fear of his next blowup out of my life. I feel sorry for him and sorry for my son, but that's about it. Thank God my Father in Law is the greatest, kindest most wonderful man I have ever met.
The next two meals we attended were Awesome. I'm so lucky to have my Mom. She is really the best. My husband's family is also amazing and it was great to be around people who didn't think I was the one who needed to apologize. It made me feel less insane.
So Zach's first Thanksgiving was dramatic to say the least. I am so Thankful to have this baby in my life and I will do anything to keep him feeling safe and loved.

Meet Me on Monday

Oh a new thing I'm trying because I never blog, which seems crazy.

1. Do your family/friends know about your blog?
I've never mentioned it so probably not.

2. What is your favorite card game?
Does Uno count? I like it and Go Fish. Not much of a card player. Solitaire and War are also fun!


3. What do you wear to bed?
Usually a t-shirt or tank top and sweat or pajama pants


4. What is your favorite kind of french fry?
I really love fair fries, coated in vinegar. Maybe with a little ketchup and definitely a lemon shake up!


5. What is your usual bedtime?
Sadly I go to bed about a half an hour after the baby, so I would say between 8 and 9 every night (and I'm still exhausted every morning!)